The pursuit of…Something.
Light in empty room

I read an article recently about pursuing dreams. I have an issue with the headline and the approach to getting people to read it. The headline: “Is it time to give up on Your Dreams?” In the article he discussed the idea that quitting, failing and giving up on your dreams are a part of the successes. 

I know studies are a part of learning and understanding the complexities of a human…

However; Do they know it. Have they lived it?

Do they even truly understand the struggle of the individual that lives paycheck to paycheck, trying to decide, rent or food? Do they “get” the struggle or do they just read articles and perform studies? No idea, because there is no back story.

There were some very good points, but the end of the article discussed that if it’s that hard to pursue your dream you should give up because the struggle isn’t worth the heartache or the mental anguish we put ourselves through when things fail. 


I am not saying that failure isn’t needed, that some goals are not going to be attainable. I knew that even though in 1986 when “Space Camp” was released and I wanted to become and astronaut, that it wasn’t going to happen.

  1. I am horrible at math.

  2. Loved the idea of science but…

  3. I am more of a “right-brained” person.

Personally I’ve had a shitty June. Mentally beating myself up, doubting and struggling. I’m still dealing with RHS. Still dealing with a foggy brain. Struggling with zero energy. Stupid emotions ( irritable, crying, laughing and just sad) that show up for no reason. Facial nerves that don’t want to work and then BAM...pain. Dealing with comments “You should smile more!” “Smile, it’s not all bad.”

It’s like getting punched in the heart every time. 

It sucks.

I believe that my 47 years on this planet have taught me that life is challenging, it will never be easy. People are going to say things they don’t know is hurtful. Shits going to happen when you least expect it (murphy’s law) and that taking things in stride is not easy. 

For me giving up is not an option. Maybe that’s the issue, the term “give-up”, I’m not a fan. I’d prefer the term “re-think” your dreams.

I’m fairly certain that the younger version of me, while she dreamt of becoming princess Leia, an archaeologist (Indiana Jones), or Madonna (yes I sing)..had no clue that eventually I would truly figure out what I wanted and what dreams I wanted to pursue. I am damn certain that as I get older, the dreams will change again.

That should be the concept right?

We grow as humans, going from a child to an adult, things occur in life that shape our dreams. I never expected that I couldn’t have kids. Wasn’t something I ever worried about but was something that shaped my path in life. Never thought my knee would break in my early thirties which would impact me later. 

My dreams and aspirations have changed over the years as I grew up.

I re-thought my dreams.

Pursuing dreams are never easy.

I worked in the news industry for 12 years. I've seen a lot. I’ve witnessed; Hate. Love. Loss. Corruption. Death. Theft. Violence. Passion. Forgiveness. Pride and pure joy. 

When I get an idea in my head, I do everything I can to understand it, learn from it and accept the challenges with the thought that I MUST look outside the box if I want to succeed; it will not be a walk in the park and I have failed more times than I can count.

It will never be easy. 

I live in a city (my choice) that is extremely expensive. I was pursuing a dream. That dream didn’t happen.

My dreams are constantly changing which I hope they always do. I’ve lived in Los Angeles for 15 years this August; moving in 2004 to chase my dreams when I decided to shift my career during the time when the news industry went through a massive tech change. Digital and video collided. Still photographers were now having to learn video, thinking not as the visual storyteller we understood and knew.

I loved film. I disliked video. I thought, digital will never get to that level. Well…15 years later and technology has advanced so much that many camera companies are producing cameras every 6 months.

Dreams shift. Technology improves. Life happens. 

Who would have thought I would now have a Youtube Channel. It took alot to get over the idea of having a video of myself, especially when half my face wasn’t moving, but I felt compelled to tell my #RHS story, I felt it was important. If you do not know what RHS is, please take a look at my videos on YouTube, I talk about the struggles and issues I’ve faced with Ramsay Hunt Syndrome. It is very similar to Bell’s Palsy.

I will continue to post videos and am in the process of planning some more travel videos from a couple of trips I’m planning for this year. It will be my focus. While I will always shoot still, I am diving into the world of video; learning everything about YouTube, Editing, color grading, LUTS, and really learning Premiere Pro. I’m diving in head first.

What story do I want to tell?

What dreams do I want to chase this year?

I will ALWAYS dream.

Be sure you subscribe to my Channel 📺 on Youtube (it’s free)