Pre-Surgery Countdown

This time tomorrow I will have a new knee. It’s very surreal and does not feel real.  I am fairly certain I probably will not be able to sleep tonight.

I spent the day playing Star Wars movies back-to-back because it is my comfort, my warm childhood memory. It keeps me calm. Maybe it’s the music, the comfort of familiar-ness, the metallic sound of success; not sure. All I know whenever I was sick as a kid I would always put in “A New Hope” and fall asleep, I dreamt of good guys winning, princesses kicking ass and funny robots trekking around alien landscapes.

Am I nervous? God yes.

Am I scared? Yep.

I know however that this replacement is going to completely change how I’m able to live my life. I have spent the last 10 years dealing with massive amounts of pain and as you can tell by the x-ray below there is no more cartilage.

I am planning on trying to document my experience through photos, video, and blogging. I have my phone and also have a GoPro that I will keep with me while I am recovering. I will try to keep it as raw and honest as possible. I know it seems scary, and everybody deals with pain differently, but I hope what I show and talk about will help others.

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Right now, I randomly break out in tears. Why…god I wish I knew.